Making friends when I move to a new location is never easy for me. I’m fairly reserved and sometimes slow to dive into a new friendship. (My grandfther would say I’m “curious”.) However, one of the first people I met when I moved to Central Florida gave me none of that “new-friend apprehension” and has become one of my most treasured friends.
George has a much more interesting past than me. He’s seen lots of now famous Broadway shows during their original runs, played banjo in a touring combo that performed in Vegas (he had a Mike Brady afro at the time), and was an officer in the local county prison (no afro for that one) – and this is just a random sampling. He’s definitely had a panoplied career past.
Although I’ve sat at his feet with rapt attention and marvelled at the true stories he tells, one of the things that delight me the most about him is his sense of humor and his ability to capture that wit in writing, usually by spinning a far-fetched yarn. I’ve collected some of his more choice compositions (often in the form of email messages) and have decided to feature some of them here on Live from the Lizard Lounge. (I expect to publish a book after he’s gone and fund my retirement from the proceeds.)
The following story is typical of some of the clever confections he can concoct…
Just got back from Target where, while attempting to reach a pack of red tapers at the very back of the very top shelf, I and my elbow set off a domino-type chain reaction that resulted in several dozen packages of candles falling one against the other, some ending up on the floor, others merely making mad candle-noises on the shelf. Quelle embarrassment.
I tried to pretend I was with somebody else, but there was nobody else around. Then I tried that Hiro Nakamura thing from Heroes, closing my eyes and squinching up my face, figuring maybe I could go back in time a couple of minutes, but I overhead a lady-passing-by say to her friend, “Is he taking a dump in those candles?” so I just hollered “Waxy build-up in aisle 33, who’s responding?” and got the heck out.
I love Target.
September 24, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I feel entirely justified in saying thank you for the kind – and true – words. Hopefully I shall soon be photographed in poses more subtle and sophisticated. Until then, I’ll continue to appear as though practicing self-chiropractory.
October 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm
[...] dear friend George gave me a 12″ pot of snake plants that had been growing on his balcony. After literally [...]
November 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm
[...] remember George, right…? He of the flights of fancy and tales spun amidst the cacophony of voices in his [...]
December 30, 2009 at 7:28 pm
[...] post, Happy Trellis to You, that I had just built a trellis to support a crimson mandevilla that George had given me. However, once all was said and done and final climbing-plant housing assignments [...]